Friday, March 19, 2010

Mistakes...

I once found a blender blade drying on the kitchen counter and thought it a good idea to bring it to my mother - I fell on it and ended up with 8 stitches!  That was a mistake!  I twice brought houses at the height of the real estate boom - the boom busted thereafter.  Those were mistakes too!   Then, I thrice had to be sent to the hospital for swallowing a penny, plum seed, and a hot dog.  All mistakes!  Man I've made plenty of mistakes in my life.  Some of which I choose not to expound on today, all of which I've learned from, and none of them will I repeat again- God willing!

 

With all my mistakes though, with all OUR mistakes as parents even, I think it important to explain to our children our mistakes.  This because to hide your children from your mistakes serves only to booby-trap their very destiny.  It also serves to illegitimize your own struggles in the process.  Now I've come across several detractors of this thinking.  It is to them I rebut...“Those that do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it." So I ask, if this rings true, then it is our responsibility to illuminate our history –all of it.  Not doing so would leave them just as vulnerable to your mistakes as you were...and doomed! 

 

You know, I’ve learned in life that while it’s true that there is nothing in life more powerful than experiencing a lesson first hand, there is also nothing more beneficial than being able to avoid those lessons through wisdom.  So parents, what wisdom will you impart? Show them your scars and stitches, illuminate your history to solidify theirs.  Share your story and use wisdom in doing so.  I do.  My kids have to hear my story every time they even think about eating a plum...

 

To read more please be sure to purchase a copy of my soon to be published book chronicling my life as a single father.  Also, feel free to donate toward its costs if you so choose by clicking the donate button @ http://chroniclesofasinglefather.blogspot.com. Thanks for taking this journey with me.

 

 

 

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Discovery...

So "It takes two" had just dropped and I was in music heaven! I'd saved up all my report card money and was about to make it rain down at the local Discount Mart! (SE stand up!) So, with money in hand, I walked over to the cassette tape section which just happened to be right past the vinyl section. (Old heads stand up!) Finally, I had found what I was looking for. It was there leaning up against the wall encased in mummified armored plastic! I walked out of the store with 4 things that day...Rob Base's and Easy Rock's single, the Prince's "Parent's Just don't understand" tape, The Temptation's Christmas" tape, and a love for music.
Later that evening, I popped the tapes in my laptop sized - level 10 school fund-raiser issued Walkman and memorized nearly every song off those tapes. It was that day I decided that I would be an artist. This after singing "Silent Night" to myself for hours. I had come to discover that I sounded exactly like David Ruffin!

The next day at school, sometime before word got out about the mandatory Glee club tryouts, I was sure I wanted to sing...but just as sure I didn't want to be singing with Glee in the club! "It wouldn't make sense," I told myself. I was a 3rd grade basketball prodigy at the time and... I was scared. So I tanked my audition...but my teacher loved it!!! I thought I sounded horrible. She didn't. My head was pumped up. I then sung for real. She didn't love it or like it anymore! My Glee club offer was retracted. I was embarrassed - long story short.

See "what had happened" was that I'd been singing to myself without anyone to comment for so long that I actually thought I sounded decent. Well time has revealed that I'm not a singer nor will I have the opportunity to rock a baby blue cummerbunn and bow tie in front of thousands! It's ok though, I still have a love for music and can (with my inside voice) sound just like Maxwell!

So, as parents, I say spend as much time with your kids as possible. Discover what it is that they like to do, what they're good at, and help them cultivate their gifts and talents. This means that you may or may not have to encourage them to possibly sing with their "inside voice!" (Parents stand up!) Save them from my Glee club embarrassment...because, "It Takes Two!"

To read more please be sure to purchase a copy of my soon to be published book chronicling my life as a single father. Also, feel free to donate toward its costs if you so choose by clicking the donate button @ http://chroniclesofasinglefather.blogspot.com. Thanks for taking this journey with me.
Miracles and Blessings
Tron

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Friends...

A great rapper once posed the following question about friends..."How many of us have them - ones we can depend on?" A few days ago I had a rare opportunity to which I took full advantage regarding this subject. This after I was pulled aside by my daughter's karate instructor. Well "Mr. Mason, she said, it seems your daughter is being influenced by a certain individual. An individual causing trouble. An individual that may no longer be attending the institution. As wonderful and well behaved as she is, I've noticed a change when the two get together." So I stand there blank faced and take it all in before pulling my daughter to the side.

"So what happened?,"I asked. "Well...my friend made fun of the instructor and I was made to run five laps," she exclaimed. She also added the infamous...wait for it..."I didn't even do anything" line. After confirming her story with the teacher, I thought five laps a pretty cheap price to pay to learn such a lesson. The lesson that punishment by association is alive and well...so choose your friends wisely!

What famous last words those are. "I didn't even do anything." It has been screamed by hardened criminals from the rooftops of Alcatraz, whiny five year olds in the bowels of the time-out corner, and of course Whodini concerts! For Kids, choosing friends can be difficult so as parents we need to teach them to make good decisions and to know the real meaning of friendship. As for that individual influencing my daughter...I'm not sayn' karate chop her in the kisser...Nah!...just that my daughter should try and be a positive influence for her...before she leaves.

To read more please be sure to purchase a copy of my soon to be published book chronicling my life as a single father. Also, feel free to donate toward its costs if you so choose by clicking the donate button @ http://chroniclesofasinglefather.blogspot.com. Thanks for taking this journey with me.

Miracles and Blessings

Tron

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Irregardless...

So this morning my son wakes up on the "wrong side of the bed," figuratively speaking. His attitude totally passed the sheet kicking level. He even had the nerve to withhold the sanctioned "Yes Dad" response required for all instruction - A Mason family law enacted, I'm sure, in accordance with the Emancipation Proclamation of 1863. Its purpose is two-fold. One, to rule out the old "I didn't hear what you said hence I didn't do anything" excuse, and two, so I don't have to repeat myself. A win-win I think...it calls for swift comprehension while opening the door for expedited corrective action. Action that could include but is not limited to "attitude adjustment by leather strap rearrangement," and time-out...I'm not a complete savage!

Now why this mornings attitude was elevated I have no clue but it had become a pattern that I was beginning to notice. A pattern that I didn't like and a pattern way above my apportioned pre-six o'clock grace level. I mean, I calmly explained that in my house he had no choice but to wake up happy. This simply because if one wakes up to see the sun rise, breathe the air, and sees fit to take off one's favorite high water PJ's to put on one's favorite high water (washed once too many times) skinny jeans while "tuding out," he is deemed disrespectful. And...as outlined during the time of the Proclamation, disrespect across the board carries a sentence of 5-10 and I don't mean minutes in the corner!

Long story short, by mornings end the boy sung and hollered and it didn't come out sounding like those boys singing "Fair Eastside" in "Lean on Me!" Afterward, we sat and had a little talk and I think he understood that he should control himself and act accordingly "irregardless" to how he felt. To recognize that life is a gift and should be honored, especially if he wanted to be, thenceforward free to see the sun rise, breathe the air, and wear those jeans again!

To read more please be sure to purchase a copy of my soon to be published book chronicling my life as a single father. Also, feel free to donate toward its costs if you so choose by clicking the donate button @ http://chroniclesofasinglefather.blogspot.com. Thanks for taking this journey with me.

Miracles and Blessings

Tron

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Monday, March 8, 2010

Separation...

Separation- It's an act or instance of separating or the state of being separated. In other words, "A ripping or tearing apart of something that was once whole." For me, the feeling equates to loneliness. This because being a single Dad in my situation can oftentimes leave me just plain lonely. So lonely in fact that I sometimes find myself strumming away my loneliness in single player mode of Guitar Hero, bending the whammy bar with such emotion as to drown out my sorrows. No one to teach, no one to body slam, and no one to say no to when they wake me up at 5:30 am wanting an ice cream samitch and/or assistance finding a random toy no one has seen for weeks.

Ok, ok...being separated from my kids from time to time isn't exactly that bad. Actually their absence gives me time to catch up on some things like household chores, working out, and spending time with family and friends. I've found that maintaining the proper balance of all aspects of life is the only way to go.
With my experiences though, I've pondered what my life would be like if I had PKS syndrome, also known as "Permanent Kid Separation." Besides the certainty that I'd no doubt find myself in some kind of serious trouble, I'd be distraught. The thought of it terrifies me leaving me baffled on how fathers could walk away from such a responsibility. I guess I understand the whole "out of sight-out of mind" scenario when it comes to...let's say...delicious turtle brownies, but not kids!

Now far be it from me to judge anyone but fathers need to step up if you've stepped off. Leaving them out in this cold world powerless to influences like the Jonas brothers, gender confusion, and that horrible show "Suite life on Deck" is just plain negligent...

To read more please be sure to purchase a copy of my soon to be published book chronicling my life as a single father. Also, feel free to donate toward its costs if you so choose by clicking the donate button @ http://chroniclesofasinglefather.blogspot.com. Thanks for taking this journey with me.
Miracles and Blessings
Tron

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Friday, March 5, 2010

The Climb...

So the other day the kids and I were riding in the car singing Miley Cyrus' "The Climb" when the melody starts to fade and I actually listened to the words. I'm thinking - Pretty good song young Cyrus wrote! If you hadn't heard it, just take my word for it, if you have, then I'm a little embarrassed! It's kind of a teeny-bopper song but the message is much more mature. She's talking about the road to getting where you're going in life. How it's not about the end, meaning the fame and fortune, the "cars and the clothes" but the climb in how you got there.

Before I caught myself saying "Real talk," I turned to the kids and muted the radio. They all had that look on their faces like, "ahh...here he goes again!" So I turned it back up and held my thoughts until it was over. They knew full well what was coming next- "What do the lyrics mean?" I asked. After a pause, my youngest finally said something. He asked, "What's a lear-wick and why do I only have seven letters in my name?"

So obviously no one had an answer so obviously...my dissertation began! I thought I explained it rather well. I went into how all the struggles they're sure to face in this life are there to make them stronger. That there can be no progress without struggle, and that generally, happiness comes in a package deal with hard work and determination. In the end I hope they got the message and realized that obtaining happiness through this "hard work and determination" is a much higher seed than anything material.

I thought this message to be relatively profound since the more predominant Hip-Hop culture advertises otherwise - "WORD!" Now whether or not they received young Cyrus' or my message has yet to be determined. I guess...

To read more please be sure to purchase a copy of my soon to be published book chronicling my life as a single father. Also, feel free to donate toward its costs if you so choose by clicking the donate button @ http://chroniclesofasinglefather.blogspot.com. Thanks for taking this journey with me.
Miracles and Blessings
Tron

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Opportunity...

As we all know, doors open and close really fast when it comes to opportunity. One thing I've learned is that when it comes aknocking it doesn't knock long and if you're not in the right position to open the door, you miss out. It's really that simple. The trick is to position the "best you" to understand what the opportunity is you want and strategically prepare yourself to obtain it. If you want extra desert, I tell my kids, position the items in your room in such a way as to increase the probability!

This weekend I had the opportunity to watch a show on lottery winners. It documented the winners lives after the millions came. It was then that you could clearly see how the love of money and being unprepared for opportunity nearly destroyed all of their lives. Some considered it a curse they wouldn't wish on anyone, some became recluses, and some watched their lives wither away staring at the walls. I say all that to say that it further proves my point. These people obtained their opportunities via the luck of the draw and not from self preparation. I really do think that there's something to be said about that. It's kinda like rewarding your kid when they've done nothing. They develop an absurd since of entitlement setting them up for utter failure. They are either unable to handle opportunity when presented, unable to grasps it, or sad faced because I won't let them have Pudding pops!

To read more please be sure to purchase a copy of my soon to be published book chronicling my life as a single father. Also, feel free to donate toward its costs if you so choose by clicking the donate button @ http://chroniclesofasinglefather.blogspot.com. Thanks for taking this journey with me.

Miracles and Blessings

Tron

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Blindness...

I've been roaming around always looking down at all I see. Painted faces fill the places I can't reach. You know that I could use somebody. Someone like you and all you know, and how you speak.
​Countless lovers undercover of the street. You know that I could use somebody. Someone like you. Off in the night while you live it up, I'm off to sleep- waging war to shake the poet and the beat. I hope it's going to make you notice someone like me. Go and let it out -someone like you, somebody. I've been roaming around always looking down at all I see...

For those of you choosing not to live under a rock, you'd recognize that these words put to music earned for many weeks the top spot on nearly all music charts. In addition, it also grabbed the attention of countless youths and adults alike. It's a song written by a band calling themselves the "Kings of Leon." It was this song that I found my kids and I repeating as we made our way home one evening. "Play it again," they said. "I can't," I replied, "it's the radio." Maybe it was the beat? Maybe the melody? Maybe the words? Whatever it was, like many of its listeners, I was pulled in and we repeated the catchy tune in unison.

You see, my assumption was that it was God they were referring to in the song. That it was Him looking down. In the end it was not...and I was blind in my thinking. I was blind because of the beat and my assumptions and it wasn't until I became curious of these lyrics that I discovered its meaning. Who is this being always roaming around, I thought. Well we know that when God asked "Where have you come from?" Someone answered, "From roaming through the earth and going back and forth in it." Who is this being looking down? We also know that this same being is described as the "prince of the power of the air." Who wages wars? Who could shake the poet and the beat? Need I say more? Need I say that I was captivated by what appeared to be good at first glance?

Now whether you believe as I believe or not, I urge us all to open our eyes and ears in an attempt to analyze the words we let flow from our own lips, not to mention sing in unison with our children. I say teach them to not only be on the look out for the "Angel of light," but for ideals for which you do not support. It could be...

To read more please be sure to purchase a copy of my soon to be published book chronicling my life as a single father. Also, feel free to donate toward its costs if you so choose by clicking the donate button @ http://chroniclesofasinglefather.blogspot.com. Thanks for taking this journey with me.

Miracles and Blessings

Tron

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T