Ode To My First Love...

She was much taller than I was and definitely different y’all. 

I mean the first time I stroked her hair - I got this feeling that I couldn't explain.

Maybe it was the sound she made. 

See the first time we met was after school –just her and I

but she always showed me love whenever I popped by. 

Man...I was addicted at like eight!

Totally satisfied that she would be my fate. 

I mean...I remember it like it was yesterday!  

She wore these beads and they were like neatly threaded through her locks and loops but most days she was plain and draped nothing at all - 

but my feelings didn't change cuz she had her eye on me still yall!

Then I found out that "erybody," even the big boys had the same feelings as me

and some days when I came to school she'd be battered a bruised,

and said nothing at all- my first experience with abuse. 

Some said the damage was done with their shoes???

Whatever the story though, she always seem to breakaway free,  

What kinda games these dudes play with her Geez? 

I had no idea cuz I wasn't a big boy and my momma told me don't do big boy things. 

Even still though...sometimes I saw her bound in chains

and my goal was simply to rip them off!

I daydreamed about her so much in class I nearly dropped the ball! 

Now time has past and we often still speak,

and her voice still sounds the same- still sweet!

I still even have dreams of her draped in those chains.

And now my son is dreaming of the same thing!

It's awkward...like...do I introduce her as an old friend cuz she jive did me wrong? 

I mean I ain't mad but she left me hurt,

On top of that…some of my homies even pimped her. 

For me- I really can't lie though, she taught me how to be a man in ways I never imagined-

things like never giving up and shooting for the stars-

do it right and you get all the money, clothes and cars.

Now my boy says that he wants to meet her cause…

he heard her voice once too and felt her chains,

and forever wanted to free her of that same perceived pain. 

***endless cycle I know*** Then I explained –

that this here son is not just a game. 

See…don't get it twisted, I don't want to present him as myself to her,

only that he takes the experiences she gave to me from her. 

Son---don't let her use you, you use her! 

Cuz she's one of those girls I call fast-

nothing but a tall orange hoop with nets and a big …glass.