Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Dream Warrior...

So what is it that everyone gets but no one wants?  What is it that leaves you shaken with fear and wishing for a return to the bleakest of realities?  Well nightmares of course!  Dreams that increase our heart rates and leave us sucking our thumbs in the fetal position (Don't judge me).  Now while I can't remember the last time I've had one, I can certainly remember the last time my boy did. 

As it stood, the youngster awoke in a cold sweat uttering words incomprehensible.  He then stared at me as he incoherently made his way back to reality.  "I had a bad dream," he muttered.  Clearly he was shaken and I thought it time we had a little talk.  A talk about my theory on how dreams can be controlled.  How I, after days of being chased by the most heinous of villains, the Hamburglar and Grimace "Mcduo," I turned and executed a flawless roundhouse kick to the kisser of the husky one!  Since then, sleep has never been so sweet!

As for the boy, he looked at me in amazement as I told my story and his eyes widened in disbelief.  "No you didn't Daddy!" "Why sure I did, just give it a try next time."  I don't know, but he seemed pretty amped as he brushed his teeth that morning.  I must admit, I "man beat" my chest confident that I had empowered the youth to master his dreams - to lead a thumb sucking and fetal position free slumber for the rest of his days!

But wait, out of the blue, a scuffle ensues as his older sibling sleepily walks into the bathroom and blocks an awkwardly executed surprise roundhouse effort to his face!  Apparently his brother had been the midnight antagonist that provoked said cold sweat!  Unfortunately, the youngster must have misinterpreted my awesome advice and wanted to put an end to it immediately!   This was unexpected and of course prompted the need for even awesomer advice!  "Son, hear me and hear me good.  If you can dream it - you can do it! But rearranging the order of my advice could leave you unprepared and experiencing something you really don't want.  Something like a counter punch to YOUR kisser leaving YOU in the (yep - you guessed it) fetal position!"

Now friends, while this story has a lasting impression for me, hear my words and hear me good!  This is not about nightmares nor is it about the condoning or promoting of assaults against chubby folks in giant furry puppet suits!  What it is about however is challenging our kids to dream BIG (in reality) and confidently facing their own personal "McDuo's." Because while no one wants them, we all have them.  So...take this awesome advice and empower them with the ability to envision their futures and immediately take the steps necessary to turn their dreams into a dreamy reality!  I guarantee - their sleep will never be so sweet!

To read more please be sure to purchase a copy of my soon to be published book chronicling my life as a single father.  Also, feel free to donate toward its costs if you so choose by clicking the donate button @ Thanks for taking this journey with me.

Miracles and Blessings


Monday, December 27, 2010


It's Christmas morning and my daughter, whom I often refer to as simply "Pretty," has a hand full of iTunes gift cards. To her, each credit seems as an ounce of gold bullion burning the envelopes in which they came! So what piece of digital gold would she capture in her iPod on this day? What songs, videos, or movies would she choose? Well...being the blossoming musical connoisseur that she is, it wasn't long before I found out.

You see, Pretty came to me in excitement to show me her new purchase. It twas Keri Hilson's "Pretty Girl Rock" video. Needless to say, my lips were firmly pressed as I managed a smirk. See, while I wasn't particularly familiar with this song or most of her work, I had been shown her prior infamously disappointing piece of..."art" video! At this point my interest had no doubt been peeked! What kind of digital artistry was this and why had my Pretty deemed it worthy of her fathers' attention?

While watching the video, I could see her looking at my expressions in an attempt to gauge my thoughts and read my mind of sorts. This brought back memories of my own childhood when I'd covertly slip in my Fresh Prince "He's the DJ, I'm the Rapper" cassette tape as we made our way across town in the family minivan! In a way, I'd hope for my parents to pick up on what I thought mattered to me. Aware of this, I was careful in my facial expressions and comments.

In the video, Ms. Hilson began to express her vanity, blurring the lines between being pretty and beautiful. After the video I thought- what ways could I clarify those boundaries? What ways could I explain that they are not the same? How beauty is from within and being pretty is superficial. How it's prettiness that attracts but beauty that both attracts and burns a lasting impression. How pretty fades and beauty matures. How Ms. Hilson was no doubt pretty but whose beauty gave off a certain pungent "artsy" odor!

By the time our brief discussion ended, Pretty expressed her understanding while I explained that her beauty is not fleeting. How it is as gold bullion and not to be compared with something as common as the gift of being pretty. On this day - I changed my reference to her because she is simply "Beautiful!"

Join in with me all, let's get to know their interests and teach our "Beautiful's" this important difference as the Hilson's of the world teach otherwise. Teach them how to be beautiful and accent the pretty. Then they really will "rock!"...And besides, we can't have them going around saying that us "Parents Just Don't Understand!"

To read more please be sure to purchase a copy of my soon to be published book chronicling my life as a single father. Also, feel free to donate toward its costs if you so choose by clicking the donate button @ Thanks for taking this journey with me.

Miracles and Blessings


Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Ode To My First Love...

She was much taller than I was and definitely different y’all. 
I mean the first time I stroked her hair - I got this feeling that I couldn't explain.
Maybe it was the sound she made. 

See the first time we met was after school –just her and I
but she always showed me love whenever I popped by. 

Man...I was addicted at like eight!
Totally satisfied that she would be my fate. 

I mean...I remember it like it was yesterday!  
She wore these beads and they were like neatly threaded through her locks and loops but most days she was plain and draped nothing at all - 
but my feelings didn't change cuz she had her eye on me still yall!

Then I found out that "erybody," even the big boys had the same feelings as me
and some days when I came to school she'd be battered a bruised,
and said nothing at all- my first experience with abuse. 
Some said the damage was done with their shoes???

Whatever the story though, she always seem to breakaway free,  
What kinda games these dudes play with her Geez? 

I had no idea cuz I wasn't a big boy and my momma told me don't do big boy things. 
Even still though...sometimes I saw her bound in chains
and my goal was simply to rip them off!
I daydreamed about her so much in class I nearly dropped the ball! 

Now time has past and we often still speak,
and her voice still sounds the same- still sweet!
I still even have dreams of her draped in those chains.
And now my son is dreaming of the same thing!

It's I introduce her as an old friend cuz she jive did me wrong? 
I mean I ain't mad but she left me hurt,
On top of that…some of my homies even pimped her. 

For me- I really can't lie though, she taught me how to be a man in ways I never imagined-
things like never giving up and shooting for the stars-
do it right and you get all the money, clothes and cars.
Now my boy says that he wants to meet her cause…

he heard her voice once too and felt her chains,
and forever wanted to free her of that same perceived pain. 
***endless cycle I know*** Then I explained –
that this here son is not just a game. 

See…don't get it twisted, I don't want to present him as myself to her,
only that he takes the experiences she gave to me from her. 
Son---don't let her use you, you use her! 

Cuz she's one of those girls I call fast-
nothing but a tall orange hoop with nets and a big …glass.