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CHRONICLES THE JOURNEY OF A YOUNG BLACK SINGLE FATHER DETERMINED TO LEAVE A LEGACY OF EXCELLENCE
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No really. It's to the point where it keeps happening to this day. It's what we do and what I hope Snots and Pee-Pee picked up as adults. You see, even though my father didn't understand that bleached super hero undies were never cool, he did understand the power of his words. That his words carried a sort of weight - a weight given substance simply by our relationship. A weight so heavy that if yielded incorrectly, could be so heavy as to break our own jaw!
In understanding this power myself, I've come to several conclusions. The first is that we should always speak in Pee-Wee Herman voices because five years olds find it gut busting for some reason, and secondly, that I had to continue this tradition upholding the now generations long ICC declaration. I don't know but a child hearing their father tell them he loves them does something. It validates them and sets the stage for an understanding of what real love is. Don't deprive them of that. Tell them you love them and last but not least...help your kids open up that Capri-Sun pouch. It's basically a Rubix cube for preschoolers and they're thirsty. Speak life in full color!
To read more please be sure to purchase a copy of my soon to be published book chronicling my life as a single father. Also, feel free to donate toward its costs if you so choose by clicking the donate button @ http://chroniclesofasinglefather.blogspot.com. Thanks for taking this journey with me.
Miracles and Blessings
Tron
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With all this though, I came across a recent study that seemed to spark up all this nostalgia once again. In it, I learned that this is the season where class (as in income status) was proven to be a huge factor in the educational advances of the students in each of these classes. What this study found was that during the year, no class of students exhibited a learning curve greater than the other. But, in the summer time, the advancements between the classes became quite apparent. Upon returning from these chlorine wading, lightning bug infested, and game overdosing binges, school children were given the same standardized tests as they took on the last day of school. What they found was that, on average, lower class students had lost ground and actually lowered their reading scores while the middle and higher class students experienced modest and highly marked advancements respectively. Advancements that put the lower class children at a habitual seasonal disadvantage - catapulting the upper classed students into talented and gifted distinctions that further set them apart from their peers. Advancements that later opened the doors for more opportunities seemingly unreachable to those same peers.
So...what was the difference maker? Was it the fact that just being categorized in a higher class made their kids smarter? Was it because they could afford the latest game consoles? Was it due to the varied types of chlorine the children swam in or perhaps the brand of freeze-pops they ate?
Nope.
The difference was reading - that's it. On average, the higher the class, the more prevalent was the emphasis made on reading at home during this time. So apparently, money isn't as nearly magical as reading! I say, "Don't let the summer break handicap our children." Let's pass this wealth onto them because opportunities and a joyous future await! Don't be fooled. Class is in and this time, more than any, determines which class they belong to in the future.
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Of course we all know what happened next. All the "why's" and the "how comes," along with the "you never's," and pleadings followed. Luckily these all served as perfect introductions to my dissertation on how they would all begin learning the lessons of financial responsibility that day! Needless to say, I had a rather entertaining car ride home as I explained that "I WOULDN'T do for THEM anything THEY wanted me to!"
Later, as I stood over the stove concocting my famous marinated chicken and vegetables over spiced Ramon noodles, I broke out the Monopoly money kit and announced the opening of the Mason bank. Just imagine the jubilation that took root in the kitchen as I handed out ones and explained to each of them that this money serves as "real" bank notes that they could trade in for real cash! Each child's reaction was different. My 13 year old thought it a good idea if nothing more than to test my word. My 9 year old immediately began calculating how many weeks it would take him to buy that dirt bike he always wanted. And my 6 year old...well...offered to make it rain at the Hibachi table!
Over dinner that night, I gave them a "Money 101" of sorts on the history of it, why it exists, how it works, and what it should mean to them. Careful not to make money their motivation, I valued certain chores and put premiums on acts of good behavior and personal responsibility. After our conversation, my youngest became decidedly against any and all variations of "raining" and thought twice about trading in his Mason money for Skittles even!
To date, I must admit that they are much more appreciative than they were before and think twice about any activity they take part in. Now while I supply their needs and the occasional splurge, they understand just how many bed makings it takes to have the chef frivolously toss their shrimp onto the floor! Funny how I no longer have to answer all those "why's" and "how comes," along with the "you never's," and pleadings! You should see their faces when we do go out and I flash the bill that they don't have to pay. Then they know that "It's only love doin' its thing!"
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You see, Pretty came to me in excitement to show me her new purchase. It twas Keri Hilson's "Pretty Girl Rock" video. Needless to say, my lips were firmly pressed as I managed a smirk. See, while I wasn't particularly familiar with this song or most of her work, I had been shown her prior infamously disappointing piece of..."art" video! At this point my interest had no doubt been peeked! What kind of digital artistry was this and why had my Pretty deemed it worthy of her fathers' attention?
While watching the video, I could see her looking at my expressions in an attempt to gauge my thoughts and read my mind of sorts. This brought back memories of my own childhood when I'd covertly slip in my Fresh Prince "He's the DJ, I'm the Rapper" cassette tape as we made our way across town in the family minivan! In a way, I'd hope for my parents to pick up on what I thought mattered to me. Aware of this, I was careful in my facial expressions and comments.
In the video, Ms. Hilson began to express her vanity, blurring the lines between being pretty and beautiful. After the video I thought- what ways could I clarify those boundaries? What ways could I explain that they are not the same? How beauty is from within and being pretty is superficial. How it's prettiness that attracts but beauty that both attracts and burns a lasting impression. How pretty fades and beauty matures. How Ms. Hilson was no doubt pretty but whose beauty gave off a certain pungent "artsy" odor!
By the time our brief discussion ended, Pretty expressed her understanding while I explained that her beauty is not fleeting. How it is as gold bullion and not to be compared with something as common as the gift of being pretty. On this day - I changed my reference to her because she is simply "Beautiful!"
Join in with me all, let's get to know their interests and teach our "Beautiful's" this important difference as the Hilson's of the world teach otherwise. Teach them how to be beautiful and accent the pretty. Then they really will "rock!"...And besides, we can't have them going around saying that us "Parents Just Don't Understand!"
To read more please be sure to purchase a copy of my soon to be published book chronicling my life as a single father. Also, feel free to donate toward its costs if you so choose by clicking the donate button @ http://chroniclesofasinglefather.blogspot.com. Thanks for taking this journey with me.
Miracles and Blessings
Tron
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If you didn't know, the above is a transcript from one of my favorite television scenes of all-time. In this scene, Lucy pimps a vitamin product that just so happens to be 23% alcohol and eventually ends up drunk. In the end, she slurs her words and "pops out at parties!" While no doubt hilarious, an unintended bit of wisdom can be gleaned here. Let me explain.
Having had the opportunity to grow up in the church, I was afforded the opportunity to see the lives of many play out right before my own, saved or otherwise. While certainly not all, it's my experience that a very high percentage of individuals choosing to take a different path other than Christ seem less fulfilled than others and thus, at times, "Pop out at parties!"
This suggests to me that we should take into account the results of our actions and chosen lifestyles and assist in identifying end results to our children. This enables them to make better choices for themselves as they mature. So as the Bible teaches, "There is nothing new under the sun." Because this is so, it gives us the advantage to utilize wisdom in our own decisions by analyzing the end results of the lives of others.
My advice- follow Christ and train these children while they're young to do the same. Have them put their confidence not in a great big bottle but the great big book whose ingredients are answers, healing, wisdom, and foresight. Not doing so could have greater consequences than slurring your words. Oh...and stay away from Vitameatavegimin too! It'll make you un"poop"ular! (wink)
To read more please be sure to purchase a copy of my soon to be published book chronicling my life as a single father. Also, feel free to donate toward its costs if you so choose by clicking the donate button @ http://chroniclesofasinglefather.blogspot.com. Thanks for taking this journey with me.
Miracles and Blessings
Tron
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